Royal Plumbing Polycule Ship Manifesto

[mrsluigivargas]

So this was supposed to be for Challenge #14 of the Snowflake Challenge but its weeks late because the promo they asked for turned into more of a manifesto, haha ^^; Or maybe more accurately, a bunch of littler promos in a trench coat.

But never mind that.

*clears throat* *takes a deep breath*

Today I am going to tell you about a polycule of the Royal Plumbing variety.

The Royal Plumbing Polycule (ship name coined somewhere between July and September 2023, abbreviated “RPP”) is a Super Mario ship that consists of Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, and Bowser. You know, Super Mario and his archrival Lord Bowser who’d probably kidnapped Princess Peach for the millionth time and also Luigi is there because he’s a darling and we all love him?

There’s not many of us who ship it, I don't think. There's the Tumblr mutual I’d got it from via this post (which detailed some very fun nesting shenanigans involved thanks to Bowser), and then maybe one or two other people? The thing is though, is that I ship this polycule in seemingly a different way then they do, haha. From what I can tell, their version of the polycule is a conventional symmetrical square where everyone’s romantically and sexually attracted to each other (yes, even the Mario Bros). Exhibit A being the linked post above, and Exhibit B being the other fics that fill the other AO3 tag as I'm writing this aside from my own, all filed under the Deepest Desire Verse.

Which honestly, is part of the fun of the Mario fandom. Mario canon is a very sandbox-like space, regarding its lore and worldbuilding (and anyone who tries to assume you agree with them regarding there needing to be continuity or a coherent timeline in the Mario franchise is completely ridiculous and uncredible so you should frown at them severely for me, okay?). So you can just kinda pick and choose what games, shows, etc. to use as a base point, and what details from the other parts of the franchise that strike your fancy to include. Or you can do none of that; there are girlies out there who watched that one 2022 Bowser/Luigi coded as hell Super Mario Movie trailer, went “I’ve never engaged with a Mario Thing in my life, but I’m gonna go write a Bowuigi multichapter epic anyway!” and you know what? They still did awesomely. Do I maybe wish they consulted the MarioWiki a little more? Yeah. But that’s just me being a bitch about it; nothing to do with them.

But anyway as long as you got the roots of the characters locked down (e.g. Mario’s heroism, Luigi’s courage, Bowser’s abrasiveness, Peach’s kindness), you can use those to grow and cultivate whatever personal fanon garden you want. It’s why I’ve been in the fandom for so long; after 5+ years the characters are just Mine now.

Tangent aside, before I go into my own version of this polycule I just wanted to take some moments to pull apart the pairs to explain my perspective on them in a general sense? I feel like that might be helpful, in seeing the wider picture as to why this polycule appeals to me.

The Ship's Parts

Mario & Luigi

I don’t know if I really have to say much, for them. You know them! Even if you think you don't! 🙂

They've got an entire side game series dedicated to the strength of their brotherly bond and how it enables them to kick the butts of gods and aliens and souped-up magic users and everyone in between. Not that that sort of thing doesn't bleed into the rest of the franchise, as well; the Super Mario Bros. Movie in particular also highlights this very strongly, with its “As long as we’re together, everything’s gonna be just fine” mantra and the “We’ve never been apart this long” Mario says to Peach about him and Luigi even though it’s only been a day and a half or so. I’m not a Mariocest girlie — incest doesn’t really compel me — but those that are certainly got a lot to chew on, haha. They're freer to turn the Bros’ codependency dial so far it breaks, for one thing. Can’t speak to any of the other things, though ^^;

Regardless, Luigi is frequently held as the most important person to Mario, and Mario is frequently said to be Luigi’s role model. I love how in Brothership’s prologue Mario wakes up having been gotten separated from Luigi and starts hallucinating him everywhere as he explores, and I love that bit in Origami King’s prologue where when the situation starts to turn sour Luigi tells Mario that he knows just what to do in situations like this: “You just gotta find Mario! Right, Mario?”

They are so joined at the hip and it's so lovely!

Mario/Peach (Mareach)

This is also kind of a “do you really need me to talk about this?” sort of ship, lmao. Still, the big idea of it for me is the following:

Peach is the sole leader of the Mushroom Kingdom, and we can presume she has been so from a relatively young age. As such, she’s probably sacrificed a lot of herself and her own whims and whimsies for the role and for appearing strong within it, in order to protect and care for her people as best as she’s able. Through this, she is kind, and compassionate, and a little adventurous, on occasion.

Mario is a protective type of the older brother variety, which then is broadened and exacerbated by becoming the Hero of the Mushroom Kingdom. As such, he frequently prioritizes others over himself for appearing strong and dependable, in order to protect who he can and make them feel safe. Alongside this, he is kind, and playful, and perhaps a little too headstrong for his own good, sometimes.

So they align in a lot of ways, and complement each other in others. Together, they care for their kingdom and their people and their home, each knowing the other would give just as much of themselves to it as they would. Additionally, Mario encourages Peach to take off her Princess Hat to let relax and let loose more often; Peach encourages Mario to take off his Protector Hat and prioritize his own health and wellbeing for once in his life.

Another thing is that personally, I headcanon Mario as aromantic; basically, I am very interested in the narrative of Mario facing a whole host of in-universe pressure to date/marry Peach solely due to their roles, e.g. hero/damsel, princess/knight.

(And that pressure is very present out-of-universe too; I mean, you guys saw last July when Nintendo used their news app & Peach’s bio on their website to “de-canonize” Mareach by saying Mario and Peach are “good friends and help each other out whenever they can” and all the heteronormativity and misogyny that fell out of everyone and their mother’s mouths about it in response, right? It was WILD!)

Anyway, I wrote most of my thesis about Mareach in a queerplatonic relationship here, if you’re curious about it! But I enjoy their dynamic as friends as well~

Peach/Luigi

There’s this post I saw a while back that puts it in better words than I could, but basically to paraphrase-summarize — Peach has an Image of being polite and regal, because she’s the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom. Luigi is struggling against the Image of being Mario’s cowardly shadow, constantly trying to prove himself otherwise. With each other, they can connect about how exhausting it is to deal with these Images, as well as put them down entirely without any fear of judgement about it, able to just be themselves.

It’s an interesting thing, to me, for Peach to see Luigi in his shell, used to being unremarked upon as part of being Mario’s shadow, and wanting to get to know him and bring him out of that shell. Who is this kind, yet skittish man, Mario's brother who he speaks so highly of? (Meanwhile Luigi’s being skittish because oh god there’s a princess talking to him how's he gonna screw things up this time —)

There’s also the image of Peach going to the Marios’ home, and asking for Luigi when Mario answers the door, and Mario being so thrilled and delighted to be the stepping stone for someone to meet Luigi, rather than the other way around as it so often happens. And Luigi doesn't believe those first few times she asks for him and him alone, via letters or in person or otherwise, to the point of attempting to redirect her back to Mario even despite her protests, because people wanting to talk to him for him just…doesnt happen. Especially not if they’re as important as Princess Peach. But Peach persists, in order to prove to him that it does happen, because she’s doing it right now! And she’ll keep doing it until it sinks in! :D

Also it's nice to imagine them hanging out. I saw a headcanon a while ago where they both liked reading; I’d love to think of them tucked away in Peach’s Garden, sipping tea and nibbling cakes and leaning shoulder-to-shoulder in a little private book club meeting of sorts. It would suit them well.

Bowser/Luigi (Bowuigi)

I mean, if you were on social media late 2022/early 2023 you’ve probably seen them, lmaooo

I’ll try to describe their throughline by describing the following: In a lot of the Bowuigi fic I read that was set after that 2022 trailer but before the movie came out, Luigi would be held prisoner in Bowser’s Castle in a much different way than he ended up being held in the actual movie. There would usually be a scene where Bowser Junior, also living in the castle, would find Luigi in his cell and talk at him, eventually deciding to coerce him to go to the kitchen and bake him cookies or something, or go play with him in his room because he’s bored or Dad’s busy. And Luigi would go, because god forbid he upset his captor’s son, but more than that this kid is just someone who looks lonely, if anything, and leaving him to be so didn't sit right with him. So they go and do whatever Junior wants, and Luigi processes the fact that Bowser has a kid that very clearly loves him very much, which runs in contrast to how evil and intimidating Bowser’s been so far. And then Bowser shows up, surprised and displeased about Junior hanging out with his prisoner, and the ensuing conversation he and his son have makes Luigi realize that Bowser very much loves his son, as well. Meanwhile, Bowser is uncomfortably aware that Luigi had nearly every right to take the opportunity he’d had alone with his son to use him to retaliate against his captor, but he didn’t, opting to treat Junior just as any other kid, and that’s confusing.

And this isn't the only form this can take of course; in some stories Luigi has a burst of fierceness and assertiveness that Bowser would never have expected, even as it’s fading back into Luigi’s usual self-conscious, timid self; in others Bowser meets Luigi when the latter is disguised as a nobody, and the way Bowser treats him lacking the usual contexts turns out to be really pleasant, for the most part. No matter the circumstances, the new perspective gained from them sinks into their minds, the both of them, and maybe they get a little obsessed about it or maybe they try to draw it out of each other again on purpose, but either way one thing leads to another until Bowser’s wandering around his castle only to stop suddenly in the middle of the hallway and realize he hasn't thought about Princess Peach in months, because he’s been thinking about Luigi instead. And meanwhile Luigi’s puttering around his house when Mario makes some offhand comment about how Luigi’s been kinda spacey lately and as Luigi goes to protest he realizes he’s been lost in thought so much because he’s been thinking about Bowser way more often than warranted.

And then, miles apart in completely different kingdoms, they both blink and go, “...oh.”

Bonus alternate explanation of why this ship is so fun to me: Yes hello ok do me a favor and make a triangle with your hands. Or with anything nearby, really.

That top corner? It’s Drama. Which is probably the first thing you thought about when I first mentioned Bowser and Luigi as a ship. It was the reason for the brief explosion of the ship on 2015 Twitter & Tumblr, after all; what would Mario think of his brother kissing Bowser? What would the Mushroom Kingdom think of Luigi kissing The Enemy?

If that wasn't the first thing you thought of, then it was probably Monsterfucking, which is the second corner of the triangle. Because, well. You know.

The third corner is Comedy, because omg there’s so much comedy potential in here. These two have a very fun dynamic, because they're completely different people! They are kind of a similar amount of stupid, though. There’s a lovely variant of this ship where Bowser falls hard and fast first, and thus redirects his Peach-wooing energy straight to Luigi and meanwhile Luigi’s just “?????” about it and it's hysterical. Or there’s that one fic where they start exchanging messages under aliases and then plan to meet up at a restaurant as a blind date and you’re just sitting there like “oh my god???” and it's such a hilarious trainwreck when it finally happens. Or it's someone slighting Luigi and Bowser going “that's my partner fuck off!!!” and having an ensuing disproportionate reaction that's equal parts funny and sweet.

All this to say, it’s my personal anecdotal belief that every Bowser/Luigi story (and maybe this is true of other ships but I’m not really a shipper and thus am horribly uncultured) falls in or on this triangle. And there are a lot of stories, of all different sorts and genres and styles. It’s great!

Mario/Bowser (Bowsario)

I don’t know how to describe the vibe of this ship better than I already have so here’s some quotes I wrote in some fanfic that do the job well:

As Bowser spoke, Mario’s eyes narrowed, and — yes, there was that spark that never knew when to quit, the one Bowser had always been drawn to, even when he didn't realize it. ~Florally Screwed (in all ways but one)

And yet Bowser keeps at it, even if Mario rolls his eyes and shakes his head every time he brings it up, that stubborn brash confidence he could get Mario out of here slowly but surely reigniting that spark in Mario's soul that had dimmed but not quite died, holding a mirror to that hero’s spirit that perseveres against all odds, no matter how small or nonexistent. ~This Tower (of Strength)

I mean, they both have fire in their powersets, and have a temper, and are competitive, and stubborn, and protective of their people. The universe certainly nerfed them by having them on different sides of an ongoing conflict. As proven whenever they team up together!

But even still, I think it’s very important that outside of third-party threats, Mario and Bowser are the only ones that take each other (in a fight) at full strength. The best fight they're ever gonna get is with each other. There’s a sort of trust in that, I think, even if they wouldn't admit it.

Bowser & Peach

First of all, my feelings about this relationship assume Peach is coming from the position of “if Bowser would just stop fucking Doing All That then he’d be whatever, I guess,” which, considering what I said near the top of this essay about how squishy Mario canon is, might not be your stance on how Peach should think about Bowser!

But for me, the interesting thing about them is the potential in the journey from where their relationship currently is to them maybe becoming friends (or lovers, but imo that’s…Distant), figuring out how to hang out together and trampling over emotional landmines along the way. And a lot of this process is going to be on Bowser’s end, obviously, ‘cause he was the one kidnapping her all the time. But a Bowser redemption arc is fun to me, because I like Bowser as a character, haha. Also, partly because of their history, Peach gets to be rude and brusque to Bowser in a way she never really gets to be with anyone else. And I’d like to think Bowser knows Peach in his own way, different from the Marios and much more blunt about it.

Tl;dr: They could be a really good good-cop-bad-cop to a fuckass diplomat or something, lmao. It would be iconic, hehehe~

And here’s this really good AU where they got off on a better foot than canon that kinda informs my thinking of them if you wanna read it, too!

Triads

So as you can see, a lot of fun dynamics to throw into the polycule soup, lmao. And then there are the triads, of course! To touch upon them briefly:

Bowser, Mario, Peach: They’ve got the most history, considering the whole kidnapping thing. They've had a specific song and dance for years, and echoes of that pull forwards, sometimes. It's a unique familiarity.

Mario, Luigi, Peach: They've grown very close in the years fighting Bowser, and living a few stone throws away from each other helped them get even closer. If it’s not vacations and adventures with these three, then it’s relaxing at home or in the gardens, enjoying their peace while it lasts.

Bowser, Mario, Luigi: Honestly, this generally turns into Mario and Bowser egging each other on into something reckless and Luigi trying in vain to get them to chill out. Or they just spar a lot, like the good old days (as Bowser says, anyway). Still, whenever sentimentality properly creeps up on them, they don’t quite shy away from it. A quiet night chatting and reminiscing under the stars doesn't happen infrequently enough to be unusual, for them.

Bowser, Luigi, Peach: With only a small amount of safe topics to talk about at first, one that Peach and Bowser frequently gravitated to is commiserating about the work required to run a government, during which Luigi brings snacks and keeps up with their conversation enough to surprise both of them. Perhaps they’ll make a diplomat out of him, yet, they joke. Luigi doesn't think so, though, so instead he distracts them by playing into that weird 4D chess mini-competition they think he doesn't know about in which they’re trying to out-do the other in spoiling him.

Finally, the polycule itself

So finally, back to the main topic of this essay: my version of the Royal Plumbing Polycule.

I could resist putting my aromantic hands all over it, so things got kind of complicated (and also they’re all aro). Here’s a link to the shipping charts I made for them last year, and below is a little relationship chart!

One of the major appeals of this polycule to me is that it makes me think about how Peach and Bowser have to interact now that they're in Relationships with the same little guys. And that’s really funny.

The other major appeal is that in this polycule, Mario gets to put his Hero Hat down and rest, Peach isn't defined by her crown here, Luigi is empowered by everyone’s support, and Bowser has people who will push back, if he pushes them in turn.

But above all else, it’s just a fun thought exercise to indulge in. The main question is, like with all ships, is “how the fuck did we get here?” And answering that question is all of the fun :D

My answer to that question

1) Mario and Peach form a QPR post-Mario Odyssey

In the ending cutscene of Mario Odyssey, Mario and Bowser fight to propose to Peach, and she rejects them both. Some fans would tell you that this signifies a romantic rejection of both men. In reality, Princess Peach has been kidnapped, dragged across the entire world, stuffed into a dress that she fucking hates, is currently ON THE FUCKING MOON, and literally almost died not even 5 minutes ago. And now these bozos are shoving bouquets in her face? Nuh-uh! Absolutely not! Go away!

Anyway, wrapped up in the above assumption is that Mario was proposing to Peach for-realsies, when in reality what probably happened is that because Mario is a competitive weirdo (source: various Mario Sports games) he probably saw Bowser make the attempt and the need to one up him superseded the concept of “maybe Peach will be mad if I do this”.

All this to say, as far as my polycule is concerned, this is also when Mario reveals he’s aromantic, except he doesn't know that yet, so he talks about how the proposal thing was “something he felt like he should be doing”. From there, Peach takes that and does some research and the “Aromantic” label surfaces itself. As does the concept of a QPR, which they decide to formally enter into, because many aspects of it felt like they matched their current relationship as it stood.

2) Luigi and Bowser start a friends-with-benefits thing

It's an impulsive thing on Luigi’s part, really. Convinced by Peach to disguise himself as her to head off the next Bowser kidnapping, only for said kidnapping to be orchestrated by Bowser Junior under his father’s nose instead, Luigi had felt the least he could do was entertain the kid for the next few hours while Bowser finished figuring out if he should be proud of his son for all this or not.

But as the day passed, he kept seeing glimpses of Bowser watching them from a distance, with a Look on his face. And then after Junior was shooed off to bed and Luigi tried to take his leave, Bowser claimed that since it was so late, he’d be generous and let Luigi stay the night, nevermind that he was already technically kidnapped and wasn't meant to leave anyway. And when Luigi had dithered in the foyer not quite sure what he was meant to be doing as a not-prisoner-almost-guest, Bowser had dithered beside him, until he’d offered the contents of his alcohol cabinet to share, looking surprised at the words coming out of his own mouth. And a few drinks in Luigi watched the hair fall into Bowser’s face as he failed to resist staring at him and, well.

He’s made worse decisions in his life, surely. Hopefully he wasn't reading things wrong?

(He wasn't.)

3) Two Pairs Collide (sort of)

A few months of this status quo later, a wrench in the works!

Because Mario and Peach are in a QPR, and Mario and Luigi are practically a bonded pair, Luigi and Peach have ample time to get to know each other and hang out themselves. Which eventually leads to Luigi catching Feelings. What kind of Feelings? He’s not sure! They seem rather Important, though, which is a problem because Peach is already not-dating his brother and these seem like the type of Feelings that would step on his toes.

Bowser’s no help about this, cheerfully inviting him to the metaphorical “I have Unrequited Feelings about Princess Peach that will never go anywhere” support group, as its acting president. This admittedly spooks Luigi enough that he decides to just hide from Mario and Peach for the rest of his life. It takes a day and a half for the pair to notice this, and a week to finally corner him to ask what the hell is up with him.

Luigi tearfully confesses about his dilemma, to which Mario and Peach look at each other because, like. Mario had just coached Peach through losing her mind a week before this all had started about the fact that she’d gone and gotten Feelings about Luigi, too. And she’s reasonably sure these Feelings are romantic. Hence the aforementioned losing her mind. And Mario, to be honest, doesn't find he minds the prospect of it all that much, either.

So Luigi’s got quite a bit to think about! It rattles around in his brain enough to spill out around Bowser the next time they meet. And it…doesnt go well. Even though his crush on Peach had taken a major backseat since his relationship with Luigi had started, something about the fact that, in Bowser’s mind, Luigi had succeeded so simply where he’d failed for years and years just kinda snaps something in him. So he explodes, for lack of a better word. Starting at yelling at Luigi until he cried and ending with kidnapping Peach in the middle of the night not 12 hours later and she gives him such a thorough rage-filled dressing down of her own that it crashes him into a low point.

4) They Move Forward

They don't hear from Bowser for a while.

Now officially a triad, Mario, Peach and Luigi worry that perhaps Bowser is planning something in the wake of his outbursts, as the weeks go by. But then Bowser’s Fury happens, and Mario’s able to report back that no, Bowser’s just…taking some time for himself, with his family.

Eventually, Bowser gets his head settled on straight and reaches out to them; first to Luigi (to apologize for the yelling), then to the group as a whole via letter. And then, after some discussion — Luigi thinks Bowser’s properly turned a new leaf about things, Mario’s willing to see it though, as long as Bowser’s actually serious about it, and Peach is willing to give him this one last chance, for theirs and her own sake — they all meet in person for proper conversation. More apologies happen, obviously, and even a peace treaty gets brought up and started, and then worked on over the course of weeks, and then finalized, and then they drift back together and now they're four, but also they still do the whole kidnapping thing, albeit on a planned schedule now. It's enrichment :)

Conclusion

So anyway if you have any questions or are at all interested, please talk to me about it. Or read my fic series of them. Or say “wow that was a lot of words you could have written for your Feveruary fic instead” to which I’ll say “blegh!!! XP” or something like that.